Energy Lost
by Alicia Vaughn-Bey
As an individual who does not have much knowledge of energy work, I was awkwardly fascinated by the experience I had with my introduction to it. I recall thinking about what it would consist of days before. I imagined lying down on a massage-like bed with my eyes closed and sounds of nature playing in the background. I could see myself lying there, eyes closed, and fading away into peaceful bliss. While my imagination was not all that far off, my energy definitely seemed to be.
After climbing onto the table there was something cool placed over my eyes, which would definitely help me with keeping them closed for the process, as I was unsure of exactly what to expect. There was something playing in the background; however, my ears were more tuned in to Toyia’s voice. She guided me through the process, but there was something that was much more resounding than her voice, it was my own.
Covered in a white sheet with a Jade Mask over my eyes while herbs are place on me, burning and permeating my energy centers.
As she began to place crystals along my body, I could hear my thought wars begin. Some thoughts focusing on relaxing to fulfill the purpose of this practice, while others were simply wanting to know which crystals were being placed where and what each meant. One seemed heavy. That one was on my chest.
I couldn’t tell if it was actually heavy or if it was heavy because I was so tense and struggled to completely give my body to the process.
As her words and my thoughts continued to intertwine, I found myself in and out of images that seemed to ground me, yet I could not fully grasp what I was supposed to be seeing within them. Some gave me a sense of peace and awareness, while others I could not tell what I felt, but that I felt something.
It reminded me of being in class and hearing the instructor’s voice and hearing some words that he or she would say, but being taken over by my own. In just about any and every educational setting I have had to force myself to focus on the lesson, as my brain has an agenda of its own and will gladly multi-task my thoughts, alongside what enters my eyes and ears. So needless to say, listening without mental interruptions has always been a struggle for me.
I was so focused on doing this right, that I was distracting myself from letting go. Once it was over, I opened my eyes wondering if things would look different. I looked around. She was there, I was there, and so was the bed. Everything seemed to be the same, except I realized just how much of the experience I was locked away in various corners of my mind. It made sense when she said my heart chakra was completely blocked off because it felt as if I was simply blocked off in general. In that moment I realized that I have been this way for the majority of my life. Always wanting love, peace, and joy, but too focused on not feeling or letting anything bad in, that I missed out on much of the good as well.
So, with that experience being my introduction to energy work I definitely want to experience more, in hopes of being open enough to accept the good in life, and abandon the bad.